Seeking for the truth behind your existence. Realise your real hidden feelings of what you really want to be. Notice your true self, before it is too late.
Bituwin -
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Dementee -
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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.
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Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I realise one thing, that is
Time will not be waiting for you to catch up
You would only feel the pain of being left behind
Tired, exhausted, drained, and your footsteps getting heavier till they are weighing you down
And when it happens, it will all be too late
Remember.
It is time to take your first step.
Time will not be waiting for you to catch up
You would only feel the pain of being left behind
Tired, exhausted, drained, and your footsteps getting heavier till they are weighing you down
And when it happens, it will all be too late
Remember.
It is time to take your first step.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Envy
Oh, it has been so long since I post in my blog. Already have intention to "abandon" this abode, but realises that actually, blogging is one way of helping me relieving some stress and to say out things which are too sensitive to talk in front of people.
Well, this is my opinion, so...here I go!
Today....is a horrible day. Though I prepared my schoolwork and checked that everything was brought and done, something just seemed to go wrong and ruined my whole day. For example: Today. First lesson is bcomm and I was supposed to report to school at about 10.15am for my business presentation with my group members. Good thing was, I could wake up later than usual, which is good right? I also don't know what the hell was wrong with me, but today I just woke up as usual, which is 6.50am. I checked that I had brought the stuffs I needed, then rushed to the bus interchange to take bus with yy for usual, when I can just lie on my comfy bed and sleep for at least 30minutes more.
I forgot to bring extra clothes to change.
Then as I told yy about this, she asked a very very logical question which had never even crossed my mind. She asked if it starts at that time, then why do I need to come at this time? And when I heard this, I was like.....stunned dumbly on the spot. And just like that, I just sat in the bus dazed, my eyes staring and my mind floating aimlessly into space for like 30 minutes.....
My phone went flat on me. Shit it. I see my sister playing with her Motorola Milestone which she bought just a few days ago. Damn, it is just so cool and nice that I want it too, though I don't like Motorola phones. The structure and the software used inside the phone is so similar to iPhone, which made me a little angry cuz...well I keep seeing that phone everywhere that I'm sick of it......
Why has everyone become so rich suddenly?!?!?!?!!! I want to buy a new phone tooo DDDD': and why can I only see iPhones from every people whom I met, no matter where I was?!?!!
To add on to my bad day, I don't fare well for today's presentation. I was supposed to be the CEO of some company which I cannot remember, and me and my friend were colleagues. We were supposed to be having business meeting with a boss of a hawker centre, roleplayed by my another friend. I don't know what happened to me, but I just cannot seem to do it with the right feel. Teacher says that I talked too little, and I looked as if I'm not interested in listening. Well, it's not like she was saying wrong. Maybe it was because I was too tired due to bad nights' sleep for the last few days......
Lastly, common tests are coming. I must really stop my absentmindedness and focus myself. AIM AND SCORE, SAM!!
Signed Out.
Well, this is my opinion, so...here I go!
Today....is a horrible day. Though I prepared my schoolwork and checked that everything was brought and done, something just seemed to go wrong and ruined my whole day. For example: Today. First lesson is bcomm and I was supposed to report to school at about 10.15am for my business presentation with my group members. Good thing was, I could wake up later than usual, which is good right? I also don't know what the hell was wrong with me, but today I just woke up as usual, which is 6.50am. I checked that I had brought the stuffs I needed, then rushed to the bus interchange to take bus with yy for usual, when I can just lie on my comfy bed and sleep for at least 30minutes more.
I forgot to bring extra clothes to change.
Then as I told yy about this, she asked a very very logical question which had never even crossed my mind. She asked if it starts at that time, then why do I need to come at this time? And when I heard this, I was like.....stunned dumbly on the spot. And just like that, I just sat in the bus dazed, my eyes staring and my mind floating aimlessly into space for like 30 minutes.....
My phone went flat on me. Shit it. I see my sister playing with her Motorola Milestone which she bought just a few days ago. Damn, it is just so cool and nice that I want it too, though I don't like Motorola phones. The structure and the software used inside the phone is so similar to iPhone, which made me a little angry cuz...well I keep seeing that phone everywhere that I'm sick of it......
Why has everyone become so rich suddenly?!?!?!?!!! I want to buy a new phone tooo DDDD': and why can I only see iPhones from every people whom I met, no matter where I was?!?!!
To add on to my bad day, I don't fare well for today's presentation. I was supposed to be the CEO of some company which I cannot remember, and me and my friend were colleagues. We were supposed to be having business meeting with a boss of a hawker centre, roleplayed by my another friend. I don't know what happened to me, but I just cannot seem to do it with the right feel. Teacher says that I talked too little, and I looked as if I'm not interested in listening. Well, it's not like she was saying wrong. Maybe it was because I was too tired due to bad nights' sleep for the last few days......
Lastly, common tests are coming. I must really stop my absentmindedness and focus myself. AIM AND SCORE, SAM!!
Signed Out.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Tired
Exhausted...
Dunno what to say....just....
My feelings and emotions are rather messy now. I cannot think properly about what I should really do, and what I should really do to correct things clearly. Am I really doing it right, or is it making it worse? I always been questioning myself, yet I cannot get a proper and definite answer. Because of all these stupid and unnecessary feelings clouding over my mind, I began to feel weird. Like I'm not acting myself and some other person who is not simply me. I want to act myself, yet I have to be careful of what I say, or what I should say. I hate it, having to notice people's emotions to react when simply no one notices mine! It's just so frustrating, and I wanna tell them, but duno how, or what to say.
AHHH SHUT IT. I'm just wasting my time.
But I just wish anyone could notice mine....just anyone.....
It somehow lightens up my heart a little, and blow a little of the heavy feeling away.
Darkness.
Dunno what to say....just....
My feelings and emotions are rather messy now. I cannot think properly about what I should really do, and what I should really do to correct things clearly. Am I really doing it right, or is it making it worse? I always been questioning myself, yet I cannot get a proper and definite answer. Because of all these stupid and unnecessary feelings clouding over my mind, I began to feel weird. Like I'm not acting myself and some other person who is not simply me. I want to act myself, yet I have to be careful of what I say, or what I should say. I hate it, having to notice people's emotions to react when simply no one notices mine! It's just so frustrating, and I wanna tell them, but duno how, or what to say.
AHHH SHUT IT. I'm just wasting my time.
But I just wish anyone could notice mine....just anyone.....
It somehow lightens up my heart a little, and blow a little of the heavy feeling away.
Darkness.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Continued.....
Today there is only one lecture which starts at 11. I was supposed to wake up early to go down to the park for a light jog, but somehow, even when my mum has switched off the air-conditioner at around 7.50am, I still cannot wake up. I heard my mum's faint voice abt herself going down to the park to exercise. I wanted to go mann, but I just could not wake up!!!!!
Decided to listen to my mum's advice to take mrt to school instead of taking bus. I thought it's rather expensive, but she said nevermind, so okay lo, I take mrt then. She is the one who encourages me, so I won't mind, of course! At the Irt station, I see that something's wrong with the display of the trains that are reaching the stations, but I dont really care, cuz maybe it's just some minor system error or sth. But when I reach sengkang station, I realised it wasn't the case at all. As I went down from the escalator, I saw a huge crowd gathering at the counter where the officers were, mostly complaining abt something. I then realised that the trains were not operating and many people were standing there waiting for the train to move. It was lucky that I was there rather early, but the breakdown lasted for 30mins. Some people left because they couldn't wait any longer. Moments later, the train finally moved at abt 10am. It was so squeezy inside the train mann. There's a veryyy tall indian man standing in front of me and I was surrounded with people. It was so stuffy and I could hardly stand straight as well.
Should not have listened to my mum's advice. I should have taken bus in the first place.
Late for lecture for 15mins, but so far, nth important was said during the lecture. The teacher's voice just boomed through the whole lecture theater. I wonder whether it was because I was sitting at the front few rows or was it the small size of the lecture theater compared to LT 24 that I went for AAA and FIT lectures. She was good in explanations, but frankly, it was slightly boring. I think I yawned a few times inside :x
Abt how I felt just now, I think it's just that I think too much. They are so unnecessary. Well, just forget it.
Thought of meeting manda and talk, but didn't. Well, we can meet some other time. She's rather busy these days too. Cannot bother her too much.
Hope tomorrow's french lesson would be easy. Pray for me :)
Decided to listen to my mum's advice to take mrt to school instead of taking bus. I thought it's rather expensive, but she said nevermind, so okay lo, I take mrt then. She is the one who encourages me, so I won't mind, of course! At the Irt station, I see that something's wrong with the display of the trains that are reaching the stations, but I dont really care, cuz maybe it's just some minor system error or sth. But when I reach sengkang station, I realised it wasn't the case at all. As I went down from the escalator, I saw a huge crowd gathering at the counter where the officers were, mostly complaining abt something. I then realised that the trains were not operating and many people were standing there waiting for the train to move. It was lucky that I was there rather early, but the breakdown lasted for 30mins. Some people left because they couldn't wait any longer. Moments later, the train finally moved at abt 10am. It was so squeezy inside the train mann. There's a veryyy tall indian man standing in front of me and I was surrounded with people. It was so stuffy and I could hardly stand straight as well.
Should not have listened to my mum's advice. I should have taken bus in the first place.
Late for lecture for 15mins, but so far, nth important was said during the lecture. The teacher's voice just boomed through the whole lecture theater. I wonder whether it was because I was sitting at the front few rows or was it the small size of the lecture theater compared to LT 24 that I went for AAA and FIT lectures. She was good in explanations, but frankly, it was slightly boring. I think I yawned a few times inside :x
Abt how I felt just now, I think it's just that I think too much. They are so unnecessary. Well, just forget it.
Thought of meeting manda and talk, but didn't. Well, we can meet some other time. She's rather busy these days too. Cannot bother her too much.
Hope tomorrow's french lesson would be easy. Pray for me :)
Suffocation
OH GOD this is my very first post in 2010! Am very lazy to post and my blog turns out to be rotting worse than I thought. So now, I have re-cleaned it and vowed to post at least one post per week! Somehow, this can help me relieve the unknown stress I'm having now when I'm coping with schoolwork and social life.
And my first topic is : SUFFOCATION.
I dont know why, but I have been feeling terribly sickly since I came home from school. Somehow, it feels so hard and excruciating to breathe in till it almost chokes me. All my worries just clouded over my head so much that it is going to burst. My chest feels so heavy that it sinks down, literally. I feel worse when my mum thinks that I am just showing a rotten face as usual. Damn, I feel like screaming out of my lungs but nothing just comes out of my mouth.
Realisation hit me, but is it too late?
And my first topic is : SUFFOCATION.
I dont know why, but I have been feeling terribly sickly since I came home from school. Somehow, it feels so hard and excruciating to breathe in till it almost chokes me. All my worries just clouded over my head so much that it is going to burst. My chest feels so heavy that it sinks down, literally. I feel worse when my mum thinks that I am just showing a rotten face as usual. Damn, I feel like screaming out of my lungs but nothing just comes out of my mouth.
Realisation hit me, but is it too late?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Flustered
Okay today's just a simple day zzz
Had microeconomics tutorial today. Managed to understand some concepts to this hard module, but some still don't understand =/
ITB is the worst. I don't even know any of the gadgets for those electronical softwares.
And our teacher wants us to do a business proposal! Mind you, the proposal really must look like one that is written by professionals okay?!!? =/
Have to write about 2000-3000 words =/ sian. And I have to find those 'unknown' gadgets that are so profound (mind you, it's really profound!!) and state it down into the proposal.
Having presentation on mon again =/ yes it's AGAIN. I have to promote a product and convince and persuade audience to buy.
And it's individual presentation =/
Time limit: 3mins. WAAAAAAHH!
So frustrated.
And flustered.
Can anyone pls help me?
Had microeconomics tutorial today. Managed to understand some concepts to this hard module, but some still don't understand =/
ITB is the worst. I don't even know any of the gadgets for those electronical softwares.
And our teacher wants us to do a business proposal! Mind you, the proposal really must look like one that is written by professionals okay?!!? =/
Have to write about 2000-3000 words =/ sian. And I have to find those 'unknown' gadgets that are so profound (mind you, it's really profound!!) and state it down into the proposal.
Having presentation on mon again =/ yes it's AGAIN. I have to promote a product and convince and persuade audience to buy.
And it's individual presentation =/
Time limit: 3mins. WAAAAAAHH!
So frustrated.
And flustered.
Can anyone pls help me?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Confused
Hello guys back to posting!!! =DD
Okay well today I'm going out with my bestie yy to tampines to watch movie called 'fast and furious4'. Yup duno whether it's nice or not, but just go lo!! Cuz
1) I have absolutely, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do at home -.-
2) At least I have SOMETHING to do =)
Actually there's a jap shop in tampines that sells clothes. I look at the brochures, and the clothes really do look nice eh! So go and check it out today <333 needa clothes for my poly days...
-.= sobsob I must save some money for buying my 4th manga of D.Gray-man!!! =( Really Im crazy about this manga!! Waahaha hope there's second season on anime D.Gray-man!!! =DD
Yeah yy says she wanna go play arcade today. Uh I thought of skipping, cuz need money like hell for my manga and clothes <333 but maybe...play for a little tinny winny while ba???
YEAH I LOVE JAPANESE STUFF! JAPAN ROCKS! LOVE THEM MUCKS!!
I'M A JAP FANN!!!!!!! =DDDDDD
Haha I swear one day I must go Japan and learn their language. Or go there and study <33 really want to try out how life will be like in Japan. Go there will surely go see the nice places and scenery, eat good food, and......
BUY MANGAS, ANIMES, WHATEVER STUFFS LO!!!!! <333
Wahaha surely will 'bankrupt' if I go there study, so I'm going to get scholarship to aid me mann!!! >=DDD go go sammie!!! Yeah!!
I have an aim in life. I have this aim after I watch a hongkong series in SCV. That main character has 2 BIG shelves full of MANGA!! So I told myself that in the future, I must have a COLLECTION of manga to read when I grow old =pp haha when I'm old my passion for Jap manga will still not change =DD
Ok maybe I will post tml ba. Sorry for not posting everyday cuz I'm busy doing something. Muz really used my free time now to do the stuffs I like before sch reopens!!!!
Gaah duno whether to bo happy or sad when sch reopens in 5 days time =/ can anyone pls tell me???
Okay well today I'm going out with my bestie yy to tampines to watch movie called 'fast and furious4'. Yup duno whether it's nice or not, but just go lo!! Cuz
1) I have absolutely, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do at home -.-
2) At least I have SOMETHING to do =)
Actually there's a jap shop in tampines that sells clothes. I look at the brochures, and the clothes really do look nice eh! So go and check it out today <333 needa clothes for my poly days...
-.= sobsob I must save some money for buying my 4th manga of D.Gray-man!!! =( Really Im crazy about this manga!! Waahaha hope there's second season on anime D.Gray-man!!! =DD
Yeah yy says she wanna go play arcade today. Uh I thought of skipping, cuz need money like hell for my manga and clothes <333 but maybe...play for a little tinny winny while ba???
YEAH I LOVE JAPANESE STUFF! JAPAN ROCKS! LOVE THEM MUCKS!!
I'M A JAP FANN!!!!!!! =DDDDDD
Haha I swear one day I must go Japan and learn their language. Or go there and study <33 really want to try out how life will be like in Japan. Go there will surely go see the nice places and scenery, eat good food, and......
BUY MANGAS, ANIMES, WHATEVER STUFFS LO!!!!! <333
Wahaha surely will 'bankrupt' if I go there study, so I'm going to get scholarship to aid me mann!!! >=DDD go go sammie!!! Yeah!!
I have an aim in life. I have this aim after I watch a hongkong series in SCV. That main character has 2 BIG shelves full of MANGA!! So I told myself that in the future, I must have a COLLECTION of manga to read when I grow old =pp haha when I'm old my passion for Jap manga will still not change =DD
Ok maybe I will post tml ba. Sorry for not posting everyday cuz I'm busy doing something. Muz really used my free time now to do the stuffs I like before sch reopens!!!!
Gaah duno whether to bo happy or sad when sch reopens in 5 days time =/ can anyone pls tell me???